DARLING, PLEASE SAY YES!: Tom Solomon (Jason Segel, right) gets down on his knees to propose to Violet Barnes (Emily Blunt) during the course of a romantic dinner in a restaurant. As soon as she says yes, they both agree to postpone the wedding until each one of their careers has had a chance to develop. Needless to say this is the beginning of a long engagement.

This underwhelming movie has been heavily promoted as being “From the producer of Bridesmaids,” thereby implying that Judd Apatow has a golden touch that ensures the success of any movie project he touches. However, the undisputed King of Crude has been associated with about as many flops (Wanderlust and Year One) as hits (Superbad and Knocked Up).

Unfortunately, The Five-Year Engagement fits more in the former category. Remember how the hilarious movie Bridesmaids kept you howling from beginning to end in spite of yourself? Well, don’t expect to laugh out loud even once while watching this funereal two hour endurance test.

The film does have all of the anticipated Apatow staples such as male nudity, coarse profanity laden jokes, and sexually suggestive sight gags. Much of this comedy is delivered by a diverse support team comprised of an Asian (Randall Park), an East Indian (Mindy Kaling), and an African American (Kevin Hart).

The tortoise-paced picture has an abysmal script and the romantic leads generate no screen chemistry. The oil-and-water casting of Jason Segel opposite Emily Blunt has disaster written all over it.

Tom Solomon (Jason Segel) is a sous chef who dreams of opening a restaurant in San Francisco, while Violet Barnes (Emily Blunt) is a new PhD with hopes of landing a position teaching psychology at Berkeley. After the opening credits, Violet accepts Tom’s marriage proposal and puts on her engagement ring. However, they both agree that it might be wise to delay the wedding until their careers have had a chance to develop. That decision doesn’t sit well with their parents, but at least the couple can postpone the decision of whether to be married by a minister or a rabbi.

As time passes, the couple find additional excuses to put off the nuptials, such as when her sister Suzie (Alison Brie) becomes unexpectedly pregnant. Over time, Violet and Tom drift so far apart that it’s not much of a surprise when Violet sleeps with the head of her department (Rhys Ifans) or when Tom’s seduced by a co-worker (Dakota Johnson).

“Can this relationship be saved?” may be the burning question. But don’t expect to care when you’ve never really been asked to invest emotionally in such an unsympathetic couple.

Fair (*). Rated R for sexuality, nudity, coarse humor, and profanity. Running time: 124 minutes. Distributor: Universal Pictures.