To the Editor:

My son’s a freshman at PHS — it’s an entirely new environment.
Kids his age.
Kids who are now adults.
Kids wearing grown-up attire.
Kids with beards.
Kids dating, openly showing affection.

We attended our first PHS Football game — their first Friday Night Lights. Earlier that day he attended the pep rally wearing blue and white, like everyone else. Friday was the end of “Spirit Week,” which had students come in one day dressed as superheroes, another day in pajamas, and so on.

I want to give my son every opportunity to see friends and forge new friendships. I can see that with his autism, he aches emotionally for normalcy, for friendships, for inclusion. I can see that he may be aware of perceived, if not actual, limitations.

So what’s a dad to do, if his son is less interested in the game and much more interested in meeting the senior guy on the school stoop, and the senior gal leaning on him affectionately — well of course let him go up to them, shake hands, engage in polite conversation.

Or what to do when he wants to frantically scan the crowd until he sees familiar faces from Riverside or John Witherspoon — well of course let him stop them to shake hands, engage in short polite talk.

Or what to do when there are so many people in the bleachers that you must find a better spot to see what’s going on? — keep walking until you find the spot, but keep reminding him that he can’t tell people to move out of his way so that he can have a better view, and instead wait his turn for a better vantage point.

Or what to do when he eagerly wants to say hi to the cheerleaders. I told him he could wave, which he did frantically for a few minutes to get the girls’ attention. But high school girls aren’t celebrities and not used to a freshman trying to get their attention. I felt my heart straining a bit on this one so decided to join in, waving until one of the ladies looked and I got her attention briefly enough to wave her over. Thanks, Brianna, for being such a good sport and giving my son a high five. A little gesture can make a day.

Or what to do when he wants to break away from his constant overlooking father, to be independent and say hi to friends on his own, even if in his excitement he’s not fully certain about what to say? You let him go and try, and then let your heart break for the hundredth time when you see him strive awkwardly, only to be told by the friend that she’s busy ‘cuz she’s with someone. And that’s how he learns. And how he keeps learning, about perhaps what a friend is, or is not.

Or what to do when he desperately wants to go on the field to meet the football players? Well that’s when you stop right there and let him know he can’t do everything he wants, and would need to wait until the game was over, or just see them at PHS.

This was our first Friday Night Lights.
I don’t think it will be our last.

Adnan Shamsi

William Paterson Court