Eileen McCoy Whang

August 5, 1958 – June 23, 2023

Eileen McCoy Whang, of Princeton, NJ, died at age 64, at home on June 23, leaving this earthly world in peace.

Selfless and loving, strong-willed, and feisty, Eileen always thought of and put others first, despite the incredible obstacles that she herself faced. She was a natural caregiver, both for her own immediate and extended family, as well as for all those she encountered on a daily basis, personally and professionally. An excellent communicator and a supportive listener, Eileen without fail met everyone on an equal level, easily and uniquely engaging each diverse individual in the warm attentive manner that all who met her doubtless must have felt.

Eileen was predeceased by her father Thomas James McCoy, Jr., her mother Eileen Carey McCoy, and her brother Thomas James McCoy, III. She is survived by her devoted husband KyuJung Whang, daughter Maura Carey Whang and son-in-law Deegan McClung, son Andrew (Drew) James Whang and daughter-in-law Adrienne Polk, and her grandson Remy James Whang, and her spirit welcomes her second grandchild, due in August. She is also survived by numerous brothers- and sisters-in-law, nieces and nephews, cousins, and great friends, too many to count.

Born on August 5, 1958, in Arlington, Virginia, Eileen grew up in Convent Station, NJ, the daughter and younger sister of three strong personalities, who learned together and over time, through their individual and shared life obstacles, that “it’s all about attitude,” and that “if you can’t control it, don’t worry about it,” two refrains that would serve Eileen well throughout her life.

After graduating from Oak Knoll School of the Holy Child in Summit, NJ, Eileen attended Syracuse University, graduating with dual Bachelor of Science Degrees in Human Development and Early Childhood Education in 1980. It was at Syracuse where she met Kyu, and the two shared 42 years together in a remarkable marriage, raising two astounding and steadfast children in the diverse town of Lawrenceville, NJ.

While living in central New Jersey, Eileen spent 15 years teaching at University League Nursery School in Princeton, but devoted much of her time to helping others, notably serving as a tutor for the Literacy Volunteers of America in Mercer County, and remained an ardent proponent and cheerleader of her children’s interests and activities.

In 2006, after Kyu was recruited by Cornell University, Eileen and Kyu relocated back upstate. It was at this time that Eileen came into her role as a dependent care consultant at the University, helping faculty and staff navigate their personal and work lives, which included things like supporting adult children caring for aging parents, a particular life job that Eileen was actively living out herself. She continued her altruistic work while living in Ithaca, which was anchored by her volunteering and nonprofit leadership for the Foodnet Meals on Wheels and the Cancer Resource Center of the Finger Lakes, work which was made evermore poignant by her own diagnosis with thymic carcinoma shortly after her move upstate.

Eileen too had three other cancers over the course of her life, but the thymic carcinoma diagnosis in 2007, at age 49, initiated a path of obstacles that Eileen had to navigate for the next 16 years and for the rest of her life. Despite countless chemotherapy and radiation treatments, surgeries, losses of hair, and innumerable hours of exhaustion, uncertainty, and pain, Eileen never let her disease define her or let her family make it their life, though inevitably in many ways it was.

In 2017, Kyu was recruited by Princeton University, so the pair made the move back to central New Jersey. Eileen felt that given some increasing limitations, rather than work she would focus on community service. She served on the Board of the YWCA of Princeton and was deeply involved in an adult tutoring program run by the Trenton Area Soup Kitchen, where, despite her personal hurdles, she remained engaged and felt productive giving back and helping others.

In December 2022, Eileen and her family made the difficult but ultimately life-sustaining decision to no longer seek any curative medical treatment. Eileen remained resolute that she was at peace with this decision, had no regrets, lived the life she wanted, and successfully set an example for her children, grandchildren, and others.

Eileen would like to be remembered for what brought her the most happiness and joy: traveling the world with Kyu and her family; enjoying a well-prepared meal; sharing time with friends; amusing in a good novel; ever-seeking knowledge and challenging her own beliefs; dancing with Kyu, and dancing in the rain; taking walks in all four seasons; soaking in the tub; spending time with her family at their homes in Princeton and on Long Beach Island, in particular putting up a good fight in their annual Cocktailfest; visiting her children in New York; delighting in watching her young grandson grow up, and her grandchild-to-be swell in her daughter’s belly; taking comfort in seeing Kyu’s face every time he would come home.

Throughout her life, and in her last six months in particular, not a day passed that Eileen and her family were not aware of the incredible gift of mutual joy and time they shared together, and she felt blessed and beyond fortunate. Eileen undoubtedly considered herself to be a lucky woman, and was more than content in the manner in which she had to leave the family she created behind.

Eileen’s Celebration Service will be held on Saturday, July 1, at 10:30 a.m. at the Princeton University Chapel. Visitation hours will be held the night before at Mather-Hodge Funeral Home, from 4-6 p.m.

Gifts in Eileen’s memory may be made to the Trenton Area Soup Kitchen (trentonsoupkitchen.org) or the Cancer Resource Center of the Finger Lakes (crcfl.net).