By Donald Gilpin

About a year ago, John George, a “semi-retired” clinical psychologist who lives in Blawenburg, was talking with a friend who has an adult child with special needs.

“The child was on and off his meds,” said George. “The child does quite well and has a job, but sometimes my friend and his wife get concerned when the child goes off their meds.” The child “comes home and “takes a while to get stabilized again.”

Elaborating on some of his friend’s concerns, George continued, ”He’s about 70 and he and his wife talked about the difficulties they have as they get older and look toward their retirement and about this child who will eventually need someone to keep an eye on him when they’re no longer around. Not just to keep a roof over the child’s head, but also someone who will care.”

George, who has been in practice in both New York and New Jersey for over 40 years, added, “It’s not just the practical things, but who will really care about this person.”

George, who has a history with the Center for Modern Aging Princeton (CMAP —formerly the Princeton Senior Resource Center) as the originator and former leader of the Transition to Retirement group at CMAP, was looking to get involved further.

“I started rolling this idea around in my head,” he said. “You know there must be many people in the same position as my friend, who are aging and who have these same concerns.”

That idea was the genesis of Special Connections: Parents of Adult Children with Unique Needs, a support group that meets on the first Friday of every month from 1 to 2:15 p.m. at CMAP, 101 Poor Farm Road.

Run by George and a CMAP social worker, the group is ongoing, has had three sessions so far, and is looking forward to expanding in the new year.

“It’s a very much-needed group,” said George. “And the main thing about a group like this is that people don’t feel alone. You don’t feel you’re the only one. Getting a group together allows you to share resources, issues and concerns.”

He continued, “As I found with the Transition to Retirement group, people were struggling with the problems by themselves. People are struggling with these issues and then you get somebody who’s a couple of steps ahead of them in the process and can help. I know that there are many people in this situation, and I’m hoping that this group can help them.”

In a typical session, George explained, the group members share their stories and their concerns, and also they share resources, like the names of lawyers who specialize in estate planning, or contact information for Congresswoman Bonnie Watson Coleman for help with information about government programs and agencies, and available benefits that can provide support.

The group has discussed the potentially positive impact of the Special Olympics, as well as a range of other helpful resources such as The Special Needs Alliance, Autism Speaks, the New Jersey Division of Developmental Disabilities.

Noting that the individuals’ special needs can be physical, developmental, or psychological, George added, “I believe that these parents share a particular burden — not just the concerns about aging and all that comes with it, but also concern for their dependent child’s welfare when they, the parents, are gone.”

An AARP: The Magazine article recently highlighted the challenges of aging parents and their special needs children in a society that’s getting older and needing more supports and services. It’s a big issue now, the article noted, and certain to become a bigger problem in the future.

It pointed out that hundreds of thousands of older Americans have adult children with disabilities living with or dependent on them. “More than 1.1 million adults receive Social Security benefits due to a childhood disability,” the story stated, “and nearly 345,000 of them have parents receiving retirement benefits, according to Social Security Administration data.”

The article continued, “There are probably far more families in this situation, as these numbers only include families receiving Social Security payments. And the challenges are becoming increasingly urgent as more Americans reach retirement age and their children with disabilities live longer.”

Gina Hookey, a local mother of a special needs adult, commented on the value of parents coming together to exchange information. “In addition to expressing feelings, worries, and concerns, there is so much information that parents can share that is extremely beneficial,” she said. “I have met with or spoken to parents and have learned about certain programs, social security insights, medical information, and multiple services that are available.”

George pointed out, “Special Connections is a place for these parents to share their concerns, resources, and solutions, and, perhaps most importantly, to not feel alone in what may seem a very personal and potentially isolating problem.”

The mother of a 38-year-old son, who lives in nearby Pennsylvania, agreed. “Sometimes parents of special needs adults are isolated, not being able to do as much socially and busy serving as caregivers,” she said. “It would be nice to connect with others in the same situation and share information and hopes for the future.”

For more information about Special Connections and registration details, call CMAP at (609) 751-9699 or visit cmaprinceton.org. There will also be an informal get-together on January 24 from 2 to 3:30 p.m. at CMAP, 101 Poor Farm Road, where people can gather and share information.