To the Editor:

I am a 35-year-old professional who is happily married with two children, and a resident of Princeton Township.  After having conferred with my husband about my feelings regarding the letter you published on May 16 (“Not All Parents Think the HiTOPS Approach to Sex Education Valuable”), I’d like to disclose that 20 long years ago I was a client.

As maybe was more common then than now, I “experimented” as a young teen and found myself in need of medical assistance that I could never, ever tell my parents about.  I still remember distinctly a friend of mine driving me over to Rt. 206 in a snowstorm so I could obtain an STD test I badly needed (for the public record, thankfully, it was negative).  I remember leaving HiTOPS, thinking as only a fifteen-year old who had just received a critical free service could, “God, why are they, like, so judgmental?”  With 20 years to reflect, I realize the lady who did my test that day gave me much-needed counseling on responsibility and self-respect.

I was a boarder at the Methodist Pennington School with conservative parents, and still I found myself in need of HiTOPS services. I have children, and I too hope they will delay becoming sexually active.  However, the human record shows that doesn’t tend to happen on parental timetables, and sometimes kids need help that they need to keep private, even from their own parents.  I would hope that when my children are older they would feel comfortable coming to me if they needed help despite any disappointment I might show, but if they didn’t, I would be satisfied that an option exists where “diversity” beyond what my own personal hopes for my children might be lets them stay healthy, private, and whole.

Liz Winslow

Dodds Lane