It's Not a Guilt Trip, Just a Reminder: This Coming Sunday Is All About Mom

Matthew Hersh

The guilt trip. Mothers are often the best at it. They feel that they work too hard and don't get enough in return. But perhaps they're right. They probably don't get the appreciation they deserve as they try to juggle a family, and in many cases a career.

There is a rising trend in the U.S. where women are quickly becoming a leading demographic in small-business ownership. The U.S. Small Business Administration reported two weeks ago that there has been a 14 percent increase in the number of SBA loans approved to women between October 2003 and March of this year.

SBA New Jersey District Director James Kosci said that his office approved 165 loans to women-owned small businesses totalling in $26.3 million, a figure that is up from last year's 145 loans granted.

"My day is full, it's either the work or the kids, and it stretches into the evening," said Robin Resch, who owns her own photography studio on Nassau Street. Ms. Resch, a single parent of children ages six and 10, said that when she is not physically at work, she is usually working at home and simultaneously taking care of her kids.

"I'm just constantly working on things, even when my children are home, and they help me work on things," she said.

Ms. Resch initially came to Princeton to pursue and complete a master's in architecture at the University, but she quickly realized that being a single-mother and a full-time architect would be too demanding and time-consuming. She suspected she would probably end up working for a Manhattan firm, hence compromising family time.

"I knew all along that it would be difficult to work as an architect full-time and be the mother I need to be to my kids," she said.

Proximity to home was one element on which all the mothers agreed was instrumental to running their businesses. They all work within miles of their homes or their children's schools. Obviously, this is not the case for many parents, who undertake the long haul into the city daily for their jobs and also care for their families. But for these small-business owning mothers, closer is definitely better.

"If I were working in Philly, I would have to have a nanny do it all," said Lisa Mazzone owner of Ici and Ici Fashion for Children on Palmer Square. "And I'd have to hear about it over the phone and say 'Wow, that's wonderful'."

With two businesses going strong, and possibly a third on the way, Ms. Mazzone, a single mother with a 7-year-old son and a 17-year-old daughter, said that as her businesses grows, she has been able to assemble a "support staff" that enables her to pick her kids up from school. As the business has expanded, she has hired additional people to man the store, leaving her with more time for the family – a freedom for which she is grateful, and one she recognizes is not doable for most mothers.

Scheduling is still difficult, she said.

"I still feel like a scatterbrain a lot, where I feel like I've totally forgotten something," she said. "I try to volunteer a lot at my son's school, and the other day I asked one of the other moms when one of our meetings was and she said: 'It was three days ago'."

"I would love be able to say that I'm where I'm supposed to be when I'm supposed to be, but it doesn't happen that way," she said with a grin. "It never will, and you just have to juggle."

"It's a juggling act," agreed Paige Petersen, owner of the clothing store Rouge on Witherspoon Street. "There's never a time when I'm not running to the parking garage to drive home. There's never a free moment, and somehow you have to just manage," she said. "But I'm not sure how," she said with a half-grin indicating that she was being both facetious and dead serious.

Also a single mother, Ms. Petersen spoke of the support to which Ms. Mazzone had referred. "I have great people working for me and I have a great support system."

With her 15-year-old daughter away at prep school, there is not as much support to look after her autistic 13-year-old son as there used to be. Now, she has to carve out more time for her family.

"It's not like your normal 13-year-old getting off the bus: you have to be there," she said. She said that she is lucky to have babysitters and her boyfriend to help her at home.

Having not worked outside the home for more than a decade before opening Rouge two years ago, Ms. Petersen said the transition from home life to professional life was difficult.

"I was home with my kids and wanted to be home with my kids," she said, adding that starting the business was different and important because she could be her own boss, and could be flexible.

But not to worry, she said, "because it's all about women and our ability to multi-task.

Fifteen of this year's Small Business Administration loans were granted for hair salons, a business venture with which Kate Bricker at BB Hair Salon on Route 206 is familiar. Ms. Bricker and her husband, Tim, own the salon, and they are both stylists there. However, Ms. Bricker's professional career has changed somewhat since having her first child, a baby girl, 10 weeks ago.

"It's awesome, because I absolutely love kids and I love what I do, so to add a child to my life is amazing," she said.

Having just started coming back to work, the Brickers are still getting used to having their own business and family. Ms. Bricker added that she is "lucky" to be able to work part time for now while getting acclimated to family life.

"The baby is smiling and laughing and I'm only working 20 hours a week. So it's enough to do what I love [at work] and then go home to my baby," she said.

Ms. Bricker is another mother who recognizes that she is fortunate to work near her family.

"My whole life is right here, and I look at a lot of other working women in awe," she said. "My hat's off to them."

"There are so many moms who do so much and it's just amazing," she added.

So yes, it is amazing, and perhaps moms are not necessarily trying to impose guilt, but make us appreciative of the work that's involved in being a good parent. It's not too much to ask of the rest of us that one day out of the year we express our love and thanks. Happy Mother's Day, Mom.